Things I’ve Learnt This week
- Don’t sit down. If you do, chances are, you’ll never get back up
- Lower expectations in keeping a new car clean with a 10 year old who gets more food ON his person than IN it, a 4 year old, pigtailed glitter farmer and a 12 year old hormone factory who’s part human, part golden retriever
- If you go to a pub garden with 3 children, expect to have to remortgage
- Arrive at the parents’ house an independent, busy woman…turn into a sloth somewhere over the threshold of the front door
- The word ‘balls’ causes mirth with my offspring even in the direst of situations
- Buses and their associated bus timetables. Grrrrrrr. In the event of needing to use the bus, use the car instead
- How is it I can remember the words from Wake Me Up Before You Go Go, released circa 1983, but not what I had for breakfast yesterday?
- Bohemian Rhapsody. This mammoth tune cannot bypass me without me having to join in, not only with the lyrics, but the opera bits and the guitar riffs too.
- Old men do NOT look good in skinny jeans. Just. No.
- It is entirely fair to throw away a pair of your 4 year old’s knickers that are chock-full of poo the size of a small hippo. She may even, in fact, have become a hippo overnight, I’m just so goddamned tired, I hadn’t noticed