I tried to deliver a packet today….the person wasn’t in, so I knocked on the neighbour’s door. No answer. I waited a bit and then started to write out a 'Sorry we missed you’ card. Just as I started writing, the door opened....
(This happens regularly….worse is when you’ve already written the card, which takes bloody ages, by the way, posted it, put the packet back in your bag and started to walk off. The eejit will then come running out….sorry, I was asleep….sorry, there was a flood, sorry there was a storm of locusts….sorry, I didn’t hear you (that’s my special favourite. If they didn’t hear, how do they know to come to the door? My theory is, they are frightened that it’s a bailiff, and as soon as the card comes through the box, they know it’s just the postie, so can answer the door! It’s only a theory….anyway, I always feel the need to say “Piss off, too late. It’s gone”. I don’t of course. I smile politely and say “there you go…sign here, fuckwit” I don’t do that, either. ))
Anyway, I digress. Before me was a face, well, it was half a face…he was just about peering around the door.
“Good morning (insert smile here), would you mind taking this parcel in for your neighbour, please?”
“OK” he said. “Just let me wash my hair first and dry off a bit”
“W..? W….? Wha…?” Now, I am an extremely patient person, but I’m not sure I really have the time for customers to start washing their hair…..
”Could I not just pass the pda around the door and you could just put a little squiggle on the screen for me?”
“No” he said. “I was sitting on the toilet when you knocked and I don’t want to get germs on the machine…I need to wash my hands”
Oh, *hands*…not….*hair*. He needed to wash his *hands*….
Hang on…..eeeewwwwwwwww. That’s why he took so long. He'd wiped his backside seconds before opening the door.....eeewwwwwwwwwww.
Anyway, I digress. Before me was a face, well, it was half a face…he was just about peering around the door.
“Good morning (insert smile here), would you mind taking this parcel in for your neighbour, please?”
“OK” he said. “Just let me wash my hair first and dry off a bit”
“W..? W….? Wha…?” Now, I am an extremely patient person, but I’m not sure I really have the time for customers to start washing their hair…..
”Could I not just pass the pda around the door and you could just put a little squiggle on the screen for me?”
“No” he said. “I was sitting on the toilet when you knocked and I don’t want to get germs on the machine…I need to wash my hands”
Oh, *hands*…not….*hair*. He needed to wash his *hands*….
Hang on…..eeeewwwwwwwww. That’s why he took so long. He'd wiped his backside seconds before opening the door.....eeewwwwwwwwwww.